I’m forced to create anyway, of course, because I have to pay the rent. Like most other working people on the planet, I have to perform regardless of whether I feel inspired to do so. I usually have to be flat-out sick before I’ll give myself permission to slack off. Those deadlines won’t meet themselves.

Fortunately, I’ve learned a few tricks along the way to unblock the old grey matter and get rolling again. If you find yourself up against a creative deadline without two brain cells to rub together, you might want to try them yourself:

Play the “What If” Game. The original writers of Saturday Night Live used this technique when they felt stumped for ideas. It involves constructing completely surreal premises out of two or more unrelated parts. They phrased these premises in a “What if” format, asking questions out loud such as, “What if Eleanor Roosevelt had magical powers?” or, “What if Spartacus had fought the Romans while flying a Piper Cub airplane?” Some of these bizarre notions actually found their way into SNL sketches — but more importantly, they freed the writers’ imaginations from all constraints so creativity could run wild.

Keep a list. A young Ray Bradbury once decided, almost on a whim, to write down a list of nouns as fast as they would come to him. He ended up a huge stockpile of compelling images (and prospective stories) such as THE LAKE, THE NIGHT, THE CRICKETS, THE RAVINE, THE BABY, THE OLD WOMAN, THE DWARF, THE MIRROR MAZE and so on. He would then return to this treasure trove to get inspiration for future stories.

Get comfortable. Maybe you’re just tired, in a bad mood, eating or sleeping poorly. The brain is a part of the body, after all. You may find that with a little more sleep or some daily exercise your thoughts will start flowing again as if by magic. You may also want to experiment with different writing rituals, as I discussed in a previous post, until you hit on an environment or schedule that unlocks your muse.

And stay out of the heat!

For more about my writing services and current package deals, check out my website at www.reynoldswriting.com.

INNER CRITIC
You wrung him out like a rag today.

SUPEREGO
Oh, pish-tush. A 17-hour day is nothing to an entrepreneur who truly cares about meeting his deadlines.

CREATIVE SPARK
I don’t feel well.

INNER CRITIC
I don’t blame you. I saw what you did today.

CREATIVE SPARK
I did great things. Okay, good things. Okay…Anyway, who can get anything done when he’s being chased all over the frontal lobes by a sadist wielding a hammer?

INNER CRITIC
Wimp. It was a foam rubber Whack-a-Mole mallet, and you know it.

CREATIVE SPARK
I don’t care what it is, it’s distracting.

INNER CRITIC
Do you even have a clue about what my job is?

CREATIVE SPARK
Well, what about my job? What about that?

INNER CRITIC
You give me a pain, you really do. Always leaping up out of nowhere with some half-cocked idea. Every time you throw a lightning bolt I have to shoot the stupid thing down. It’s exhausting. The mallet’s better than you deserve.

SUPEREGO
Stop this bickering, both of you. It reflects poorly on the literary art. Vigilance and work ethic count for far more than any petty internal squabbles. In fact….what time is it?

EGO
4 A.M.

SUPEREGO
Time for me to wake him up and make him wonder if he ran the spell-check on the draft he sent tonight.

INNER CRITIC
Hey, while he’s up, lemme at him for a minute.

CREATIVE SPARK
You’ve had enough fun for one day. Sit down.

INNER CRITIC
He had no business feeling good about that thing. No business. I didn’t even mention the clumsiness of the organization. The pacing was poorly judged too.

CREATIVE SPARK
How am I supposed to spring him into action tomorrow after you two have had your way with him all night?

SUPEREGO
I simply feel that it’s a service provider’s duty to check his work again. And again. And again. He appreciates it, deep down. It makes him feel responsible.

CREATIVE SPARK
It makes him feel sleepy.

INNER CRITIC
Feeling the pressure, are we? Maybe he’ll decide to just stay in bed tomorrow.

SUPEREGO
No, I won’t have that. I’m make sure he notices that utility bill as soon as he wakes up.

CREATIVE SPARK
I won’t allow it either. You want thunderbolts? I’ll show you thunderbolts! And just you try shooting them down once he’s on his third cup of coffee. Just you try!

INNER CRITIC
Yeah? Well, you just wait till he’s completely awake and gets a second look at his work from the night before. Game over, pal! Game freakin’ over!

ID
QUIET UP THERE! I’M TRYING TO WORK!

The job was incredibly simple and repetitive, but it carried a daily quota of however-many images per shift. The sheer ease of the job led the supervisors to expect certain levels of speed and accuracy, and if you couldn’t cut it you were let go. It didn’t seem like a terribly high standard to me, but I’ll admit that some nights felt harder than others, and new recruits were usually flailing helplessly for at least a week before they got the hang of the job.

I remember one older lady coming to me during her first week, saying, “I need to ask you how you guys keep your numbers up. I can’t make my quota.”

Since I had no way of knowing what precisely she was having trouble with, I asked, “Are you starting and finishing the shift on time?”

“Sure,” she said. “I just can’t make my numbers.”

“Are you making mistakes and then having to go back and correct them?”

“Nope. I just can’t go fast enough.”

“Are you familiar with the computer program?”

“Yeah, I know what I’m supposed to do. I just can’t make my numbers.”

This game of 20 Questions went on, with the old lady supplying a continuous refrain of “I just can’t,” until I couldn’t think of anything else to ask or suggest. Ultimately, I couldn’t help her because I didn’t know what to tell her. Looking back it now, though, with several years’ business experience under my belt, I know exactly what I should have recommended:

“Stop saying ‘I can’t!’”

I’ve talked before about my preference for positive reinforcement over negative reinforcement in copywriting; I’ll never use a stick when a carrot will do. But if it’s true for marketing, maybe it’s just as true in everyday life.

Every time we say “I can’t,” our ears hear it, they send it to our brain, our brain records it, and we believe it. And we act on our beliefs. That’s how hypnotism works, for example, to disrupt bad habits, change attitudes, remove phobias, or help control pain. The brain decides to accept the suggestions given to it by the hypnotist, and it acts on those suggestions as part of a new belief system. This is also how self-esteem works. You don’t believe you are charming and confident because you are; you’re charming and confident because you believe you are.

Unfortunately, negative suggestions can work just as effectively as positive ones, often on a subliminal level. We might be feeding ourselves on a constant stream of negative reinforcement without ever realizing it. And it can be as innocuous as a simple “I can’t.”

We small business owners must avoid “I can’t” at all costs. “I can’t” will eat your business alive, and possibly you with it. Try “I choose to” instead. You’ll feel better. You might even find that you can.

You know what characters are, of course. They’re the lifeblood of plays, films, novels, and even nonfiction works such as biographies and autobiographies. Anytime you tell a story about people, those people become characters in your story — even when you’re only referring to them in the third person. Sometimes a character who never appears in a drama makes the biggest impact in the story, if that character’s memory or offstage presence hovers over the other characters and influences their behavior.

Typically, though, the main character, or protagonist, is the person we follow and sympathize with as he or she struggles to achieve an objective. The roadblocks to achieving that objective are often personified in another character known as the antagonist, so we can watch the struggle play out in the conflicts between these two characters.

All that stuff is fine for a book or a play, but who are the “characters” in a company website or brochure? Well, you’re certainly one of them. The point of view you choose for your marketing materials defines a persona. A website’s home page might project an impersonal, monolithic persona, or it might give the impression of the business owner speaking directly to a group of friends. What’s best for your particular brand? As a freelancer and sole proprietor, I use a direct first-person address. If your business consists of a team, you’d probably use “we” instead. If you want to seem really huge or formal or corporate, you’d use the third person.

So, is your “character” the protagonist in your marketing pieces?

No!

Your business only exists because you have customers. The marketing you produce must address their hopes, dreams, frustrations, fears, and needs. Your customer is your protagonist because your business isn’t about you, it’s about that person out there who has a need for what you offer. Your character is the helpful friend, the confidante, the trusted advisor to that main character.

Who’s the antagonist? It’s whoever is causing pain for your customer. It’s the competitor’s product that costs too much and doesn’t work. It’s the lost time, extra work, or other frustration caused by not having your product or service. You, then, are the protagonist’s sword — the magical weapon that cuts the enemy down by solving the problem and bringing the final goal into view.

Stay tuned for more Drama of Copywriting!

Do you have a particular question about copywriting or its role in a marketing campaign? Do you have an illuminating anecdote or experience to relate about your own efforts to promote your business? Or maybe you’d like to offer input on some aspect of writing in general.

I hope to make this blog a lively landing point for valuable and fascinating information in these areas, so I invite you to put on your thinking cap and email me with any topics you’d like to see covered here. General blog comments are always welcome too, so don’t be shy. (Except for spammers. You guys can be shy. Thanks.)

So whether you’d like to regale the blogosphere with your wisdom or you just have a great URL to recommend, feel free to send it on for future consideration as a blog topic or link.